Gtalk Statuses: LifeCycle of a Crush

Always: He sees you, you see him. Good for establishing opening lines for conversation based on status message, and so on.

Never: You never see him, he can see you though, and decide whether to ping. For when you've started stalking him and need to be controlled :P

Invisible: You see him, he doesn't see you. For when you get bored waiting for him to ping you first. You can atleast watch his status messages change :P

Block: Screw him, get over yourself. Noone sees anyone else. Sigh, peace at last. The end of the stalk-cycle.

(Go back to top. Repeat again.)

Profile

Subject
Gender: Male
Age range: 21-25
Stats: Bushman hair, geeky glasses, goofy grin, skinny, tall, big feet. Flat ass.
IQ: Too high for its own good
Earning potential: Undetermined
Cooking potential: Could be OK. Not tasted yet.
Husband material: Not in the least
Dress sense: Wears pink and yellow
Sense of humor: Flickers
Drinks: A LOT of water. And alcohol socially, whatever the hell that means.
Smokes: No, thank god.
Activities: Eats. Sleeps. Then repeats. Wakes people up in the middle of the night to discuss the American political scene.
Hobbies: Breaking hearts, pretending to work, watching sadistic cinema :P
Hittablity quotient: No girl's resisted so far. Not conventionally hittable on though.
Strengths: Surprising ability to listen on and on as girls try to woo him with details of imaginary horses. Can also resist dumb blonde hanging all over him pretending to sleep.
Weaknesses: Still not sure if he's actually human. Won't get over his girlfriend from the 12th standard. Has smug Mallu upper eyebrow lift thingy that indicates exactly what he thinks of you. Squirm.

Some pick up the lead fast. Well trained from their past!

Now this is how you can get a guy's phone number (if he is well trained from his past, he will pick up the lead well):

Step 1: Change your status message to "To all the people that are already missing me in *the city I had just left* : Leave a ping and I will call you tonight :)"

Step 2: Some men will come up with an unexpected conversation like this:

Victim: ping
StalkerOne: Am in the office man.... first day here. So can’t ping ....
Victim: no. Read your status message..
StalkerOne: lol :P so that was the ping you are leaving me :) how sweet :P
and your number?
Victim: yes
StalkerOne:??? How do I dial that?
Victim: *the victim typed his number. But as usual, important info has been hidden for the benefit of the world*

This is how some men will get excited after they give you their phone number:

Victim: Chalo, you work. I have to also get back to work
StalkerOne: okies! ttyl!
Victim: cya!
Victim:
da da da DAH!!!
da da da Daaah!
StalkerOne: eh?
Victim: beethoven's 5ifth!

brilliant for any exit scene
StalkerOne: LOL :D
Peace!
Victim: Peace be with you too!
StalkerOne: :)

He is such a pretty face. And that's all that he is!

StalkerOne: so... this woman was telling me how *the subject* looks cute. i said "right!"

+1 to his admirers list!

StalkerTwo: awww :D

everyone's hitting on him!

good to know :D

StalkerOne: yeah!!! and he tho happily acknowledges every flirt with that gentlemanly nod of his! like thats the max he can do

StalkerTwo: lol

StalkerOne: and I don’t understand how they did not consider him a geek at coll... and y they didn't put him through that course for the geeks

StalkerTwo: LOL!!!

well he's not a geek per SE standards! He can talk quite cutely :D

StalkerOne: right! He can talk cutely during unholy hours about *the name of a prominent public figure in the US* !

StalkerTwo: lol

StalkerOne: and he is too cute to ignore and go off to sleep, even when you are feeling pukey in that goddamn bus!

StalkerTwo: ehehh

StalkerOne: sigh! Half the good looking men in the world are married, and the other half pretend to be gentlemen

StalkerTwo: you think he’s pretending huh

StalkerOne: well... he gets on my nerves at times when he just gives that nod and sits there all day watching his laptop's wallpaper, pretending to be working

StalkerTwo: LOL!!!

StalkerOne: the only reason I am not able to brand him as the "silly fool with loads o attitude" is that he is so terribly cute

StalkerTwo: But someone that discusses *the same prominent public figure in the US* all night can’t be dismissed as being silly :( The man uses his brains for all the wrong reasons

StalkerOne: He is just happy with all the attention he is getting in life

StalkerTwo: lollerz ! Not if he maintains the *the same prominent public figure in the US* talk believe me

but you know the movies he chooses to watch are strange

StalkerOne: as long as there are people like me no... he can talk about Obamas and Osamas all night.. and he will have listeners even if they are sick and feeling terrible

StalkerTwo: hehe such loyalty! Ping him and say you are feeling lonely man!

StalkerOne: hahahaaa! I can say all that I want to... the fool should reply no

StalkerTwo: he does man. i really don’t get why he wouldn’t. he’s entirely vetti

StalkerOne: he’ll reply with fantastic one liners

StalkerTwo: lollerz! Hit on him till he comes up with one i say! Worse come worse You are far far away :D its not like he can ignore you or avoid you

StalkerOne: HAHAHA! he can still block me off... I am thinking he deserves to be out through pick up lines about frogs called mangu bunji, and black horses that team up with white horses to produce brown horses

StalkerTwo: :D :D :D :D quite

StalkerOne: mangu bunji, my foot!! she said I was silly when i asked for his surname! now wat she did is the heights of sophistication!

StalkerTwo: hehehehe! It’s a frog on her profile in *a popular social networking site*

StalkerOne: yes... and she invited him "home" to see it! like for "introducing" him to mangu bunji. its enough if she just adds him on *the same social networking site* , or walk up to his desk with her lappy

StalkerTwo: lol!

StalkerOne: and I enjoyed it when she excused herself form the world around her, and he told her "switch off the light' and went back to sleep! bwaaahahahaa!

StalkerTwo: lol

QuickSearch Look Up

a